Love...

 Love.

LOVE

Love is such a powerful four letters, probably the most powerful. I will not define Love, and I think we have too many definitions already. But what I do want to say is how 'Love' is just a word but is brought to life by a soul. When Love receives life, it becomes visible and tangible. Ever heard 'I can see love in your eyes?' When a person or even a pet(animal) is loved, you will see it written all over them. Everything and everyone you love blossoms! Blossoming is the secret ingredient in Love.

Again, I am not going to define Love. Not because there is an actual definition that fully defines Love but because the definition and expression of Love is unique to every person. Oh yes, everyone has to define Love based on how they feel and express it. So, we must never compare the Love of one to another. Let me give share an example, a mother's love is strong, but she can never love her child(ren) in such a way that she wants to marry them and spend the rest of her life with them. Instead, she may want to choose the best spouse for them. But there is another person who will love me so much and can decide to spend the rest of my life with this person. In another scenario, one person can love another and will not want a relationship because they believe that a relationship could complicate things, and they could lose the Love they already have. Now that person is content with keeping it as it is, whereas another person wants to marry and do life together no matter what happens. So, Love solely depends on the person loving and how much they can do for that Love.

So let me tell you what Love is not. Love can be anything, but certain things cannot be, and I will write about a few of them:

Love is not 'unforgiving'. When you love someone, let's assume that you inflate a balloon, and it keeps expanding as your Love grows. Note this balloon is the best quality, and it won't burst no matter how much it expands. Good. Every time you don't willingly forgive someone you love, you leave a piercing in that balloon. And you know what happens when a balloon is punctured; you guessed right, it starts to deflate. So, when you hold something against someone you love, you are deflating your balloon, and soon, it will reduce. The funny thing is you don't even realize you are falling out of love with someone until that balloon fully deflates. Suddenly, you don't want to do the things you used to do with them anymore. Yes, it's okay to be human and be angry with people, but you must be careful. Remember how I started this piece with Love being a very powerful four-letter word, correct? Well, Love has a sibling called 'Hate'. Hate is equally four letters and is as powerful as Love. Love and Hate are in a constant battle of who is supreme, and the energy we give determines who truly rules between them. So as your balloon

deflates, Hate is penetrating Love's territory, and it's only a matter of time before there is a complete takeover. Don't just forgive; forgive ahead.

Love is not 'hurting'. When you love someone, you will never deliberately hurt them. I purposely chose to discuss forgiveness before 'hurting' people you love. That's because your loved ones will surely annoy you, but it may not be a deliberate act, so learn to forgive first. Now back to hurting loved ones, that is a No-No! Don't take advantage of how someone loves you and hurt them deliberately because you know they will forgive you. In this scenario, let's assume that Love is an elastic band, for every time you hurt someone who loves you, you leave a tear on that band, and eventually, it will cut, and that will be it. Sometimes you want to prove a point, but deliberately doing something you know will hurt this person is not the way to go. Yes, they may get your point, but they will never forget how your actions made them feel. We all have to find healthy ways to let our loved ones know how their actions impact us without taking advantage of their vulnerability. Our loved ones need to feel safe around us no matter what. Don't hurt those who love you; it hurts.

Love is not a reward. You cannot reward loyalty with Love. Love should happen naturally and build up. When Love is building, the persons involved may not even be aware; you wake up one morning and realize you are hopelessly in love with someone. You know when it happens. What you can't do is decide to reward someone who has been there by trying to love them. You don't choose for Love; Love chooses. It will be unfair to play Love with someone because you feel it's the right thing to do. One day, just one day, you will find Love in another person who will hurt the one you rewarded with Love. Or you choose to stay and continue to struggle in that relationship and remain unhappy. The person may also fall in love with another and hurt you, or they may choose to continue playing Love with you while you both remain unhappy. It is good always to have conversations about how you feel with people, so there is no misunderstanding. You don't have to marry someone because you have known each other since high school and you feel they know you better than any other person.

Always ask yourself this question- If this is Love, am I happy? It is not enough to be in Love or be loved; are you happy? Happiness is key, happiness births the blossoming.